"I'm still missing the perky pair" said John N. "Seeing as we've not got
the hall next week how about a rapper tour - we've not done any since the Stone Monkey
weekend and it will bring back memories".
That was all the excuse John F (the Bagman) needed to drag the Squire (that's me) and
Foreman away from their wives and/or loved ones later in the week to suss out some likely
pubs. Bass and Cains were reluctantly imbibed en route so as not to upset the Landlords of
the hostelries visited.
"Of course we must end up at the Magazine in New Brighton" said Richard. "I
missed it last time. You b*****ds got a drink whilst I was down the cop shop giving
evidence" [see New Brighton Scuffle, MDDL, last year].
So the pubs were lined up and the great day (Monday evening) arrived. The sun was shining
and the sky was clear - typical when we're going to be dancing indoors. John N, John F and
I arrive just in time (about 20 min before most of the rest of the men) to find one
musician in the bar with John X (a potential new member who has recently taken up the
melodian again on retirement). This is great, he's only just retired so he'll bring down
the average age of the side if he sticks with us.
Next to arrive is John C, who has recently volunteered to be our fool and thought this
would be a good time to practice. This gives rise to the expected circle of introductions
- "John (X) this is John, John and John, John won't be here tonight but John will be
along soon. Matthew and Matthew are coming but Matthew isn't".
(Cognoscenti will now have realised that whilst we number our Matthew's, we have more
John's so we letter them).
At this stage John (S) arrived so we started the introductions again. John (X) looked
relieved and admitted he normally had problems with names and promptly called John,
Matthew.
First pints down and we nipped into the back room for a quick run through. Four of the
five rapper men present had been at the SM weekend (that's Stone Monkey not Sado-M, or
then again...). The Squire had missed the weekend so just for fun Capt'n John put him in
number 4 - after all he'd danced 1, 2 and 5 before hadn't he, and so what if they'd
changed the dance totally and introduced several new figures.
Three run throughs and we also had a full Cotswold side present, but they hadn't brought
their kit so they could concentrate on the drinking. We had an amazing band though - 5
melodeons and 2 concertinas. A lady with no taste, attracted (!) by the noise peered in
through the door and made complementary noises. That was all we needed, off to the main
bar for a live performance.
Tony set up in the corner with his video camera - serious stuff this. We've never had to
remind anybody to take the lens cap off a video camera before, but the "Old
Snecklifter" was slipping down very smoothly. "What's that funny noise"
gasped Richard as the break step finished and we held the lock triumphantly aloft with a
full set of fingers each. "They're clapping! Quick get round with the hat and let's
do a runner before they ask us to do another and we have to admit we only know one
dance". Only one glaring mistake too as the Squire (that's still me) turned the wrong
way - but with great confidence and aplomb, directly in front of the camera. The new
figure is now called the Mersey double unwind.
Next pub was the Ferry, overlooking the Mersey which looks quite nice when it's dark.
Another stupendous performance, that strange noise again afterwards and the landlord's
keen to have us back for a proper Morris evening as part of our summer programme - another
Cains pub too. John C is still self conscious as the fool. By the time he'd changed into
civvies and driven to the Ferry, we'd finished the spot, drunk up and were ready to leave.
We let him have the practise of getting changed again in the middle of the pub and then
told him we were off the the Pilot Boat and he'd be better off just driving as he was. Not
sure where to go, he said he'd follow John, John and myself in my car - but was clearly
nervous about being stopped or stranded whilst in full fools regalia (wimp!).
Part way to the Pilot Boat, John F says we've missed a turning so we do a U-turn with John
C behind us and head back. We take a right and find Richard and John S lost down a side
street, they agree to follow us as we work our way towards the pub. We now realise we've
lost John C somewhere along the way - he's now lost.
The Pilot Boat is best forgotten. The landlord had forgotten about the darts match and the
players seemed to find the noise of 7 boxes and 5 swords distracting so we beat a hasty
retreat to the Magazine.
Reputations and alcohol levels restored after another well appreciated spot, we drink to
absent friends and wonder if John C will have stopped to ask a w.p.c. the way - or have
chickened out and just driven home.
For an hour or more the pub vibrated to the sound of 5 melodeons and 2 concertinas until
Clive was heard to mutter during a brief beer stop "Isn't it wonderfully quiet when
they stop". Well we know know it is possible to insert a set of rapper swords - but
NOT sideways. (Incidentally can any of you muso's tell me why it is totally impossible to
find two boxes with the same tuning let alone seven).
Well, Saturday's Chester and back to Cotswold, some sponsored bash for the Secretary of
State for the Environment or some such. Rumour has it we're dancing with Kinnerton and
that Manley are around some where. We're told we get a fee and can collect. Wonder in John
C will turn up?
Aaahhh tradition!
Alan.