The Poacher's Cottage

May 1998

In the usual slow manner one by one the team meandered its way through the winding country lanes to the Poacher's Cottage Pub in Ffrith near Wrexham. We had arranged to meet at 7.45 p.m kitted up, time to order our first pint at the bar and ready to start for a prompt 8.00p.m. At 8.10 p.m I arrived at the Poachers with husband dressed as the least ferocious Dragon one could ever imagine - he's such a brute really?! We had the sticks so I was fairly confident that the team wouldn't start without us, but then again they might not have noticed.

About half the team were there as I pulled the stick box to the dance area, things are improving. Bernie has turned up for her first dance with Clerical Error; her kit is shining it's so new. Padraig has turned up without any kit, it was stolen during the week along with his drum and car. The team have discussed this thoroughly and believe that it was either Lyn (music foreman) or Shelley (subject of his unrequited love) who stole his car and kit!

I turned to my new freshly word processed chart designed to take away the chore of spending all evening tapping people on the shoulder telling them what they are dancing next. Now all I had to do was look at who was around and add their name against the dances I had decided the team would perform. Everybody up for our first dance Not For Joe, a good warm up dance which is dead simple and will help with the confidence of the Freshers of which there are many. Then I needed 8 for Craven Stomp, just fill their names in the boxes marked 'DANCERS' and they will be able to get on with it themselves. "All right in a minute, I'm just doing this chart" - bloody musicians they might be ready but I've got this super time saving document to complete. Next we'll do Ragged Crow, keep it as just a four person dance to give contrast, Yup, got it - easy, right I'll just tap everybody on the shoulder and tell them they're doing Not For Joe!

The first dance is always a bit tricky - will the audience applaud us and demand 'More' or quietly meander back to the bar pretending they weren't one of the expectant crowd hoping we would overturn their opinion of Morris. 15 dancers all in a line clashing their sticks to the tune of Not For Joe, an impressive sight - normally, but then the lines are usually straight and Clerical Error decided this night they would have a wavy line. My back's to one of the Freshers, Ron, I forgave him for hitting me on the back stroke of the sticking, after all its easy done as you try to get yourself orientated. I didn't forgive him as he continued to do this throughout the dance totally oblivious to the digs of my stick in his ribs as I whispered menacingly to 'sod off' further down the line. Well, the dance started badly but Clerical Error dug in and made it even worse, The caller called the figures and the dancers did what ever came into their heads, well credit where credits due, I thought they were permanently void of any ideas. As dance foreman it's my responsibility to motivate the team to get its act together, I decide before the end of the dance that I'm getting straight into my car and going home. I look towards the musicians who have all turned their backs to us, I'm sure I could see Gill laughing but maybe its hysterical laughter the other musicians are all acting as though they are not with us. Finally it comes to an end, not in a nice formation of two lines as rehearsed repeatedly during those long winter nights but in some sort of amoeba shape when I called "ALL UP" prematurally because I couldn't wait for the caller to put me out of my misery. I go back to my list of dancers and take Ron's name out of all the other sets. I would have liked to do the same to those others who made a complete mess of the dance but I only know a couple of jigs. The audience clap politely, they seem unable to believe what they have seen!

9 people got up for Craven Stomp. The musicians were looking on impatiently as all 9 stand their ground and say, "my name's on the list, I'm meant to be here." The Dragon belly bounces the smallest member in the set back to the fringes - well nobody said he was a brave Dragon. Craven Stomp was OK. The audience have warmed to us a little and hang around long enough to watch 4 dancers line up for Ragged Crow which is also danced well enough, I decide not to get in my car after all.

As the dancers and musicians refill their glasses I return to my crisp chart and look at the second set. 8 people for White Ladies Aston followed by 6 for What Ho! and 10 for Much Wenlock. Now I'll just go and tap a few people on the shoulder and tell them who's in what, Greg arrives, warning me not to ask why he's so late, I take his advise. I take Kate out of What Ho! and put Greg in. "When are we starting again, Ali, it seems a long time?" Damn I havn't had my second pint, Oh well, lets get it going.

White Ladies Aston was barely acceptable, the Dragon coached half the team members through the figures; we've rehearsed this one at least every other week, maybe I should have made it more frequent! We get to the end of the dance and the audience applaud loudly, they are so easily entertained - it's sad really. What Ho! next, Kate lines up with the other 6, I tell her that I had to swop her for Greg and she screems that she had just spent the drink break revising the dance. Oh, hell, that's another person I've upset tonight. What Ho! seemed to go well despite the collection of sticks I made when we were supposed to be passing them around the set. Much Wenlock was very average, Heather had her first attempt at calling it and did very well but I must ask her to call the figures before we have to start them. The Dragon announces that we are in need of another drink break and we will therefore return in 15 minutes. I look at my empty glass and then to my next chart, it took a fraction of a second to make my choice and as I threw the chart away I sprinted to the bar. Uncle Ron, our most senior member (and Fresher) attracted the kids with his smiley face and easy ways and had them all standing in formation struggling to hold the long pick-axe handle sticks we use as they fought their way around his version of White Ladies Aston. I guess he decided that if I wouldn't let him play he'll find his own group of friends.

Our host dancer, Angie, asks if we can do a participation dance next as the audience still have no homes to go to and they're silly enough to join in. We use Dilwyn as a particpation dance normally, Bromsberrow Heath is another option but our musicians often mutter something about "Need more practise on that tune"! I naturally grab the best looking man I can find and hand him a short stick, I discover as I'm taking him through his paces that he's the local G.P. what luck, I managed to get an appointment for a thorough examination at the weekend, he's so busy he has had to book me in for midnight! We must have had about 30 people dancing the Dilwyn. It looked pretty awful to me but everyone had a smile on their faces so I guess it was OK. Clerical Error finished their dancing with an 8-person Brimfield Stick (Bernie's first attempt of this dance with Clerical Error, it was lovely the way she ran through the middle of the set before anyone else!) and Finally! Two sets of Wrekin Havoc which was completed as one set by bringing everyone in on a 'round' before flying into the audience whose stomachs have been strong enough to stand the course.

The dancing over, the landlord of the Poachers treated us all to plates and plates of garlic bread and chips, mmmm wonderful, a great way to finish a night. Actually, we finished it by taking the mickey out of Glyn and Lorraine who had arrived two hours late (without an explanation) and were now sitting entirely on their own in a separate dining room gazing into each others eyes. Aaaarrhh!

Ali Luyah